cruelwonder: (sweet dreams are made of these)
Alice Liddell ([personal profile] cruelwonder) wrote2011-07-03 09:11 pm
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allucinator: (reflective: trapped)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah. I-- yeah, I'm here, babe.

[He bumps their noses together, one hand pushing through her hair.]

I'm here and I ain't goin', god, not ever again. I missed you, I kept thinkin' o' you the whole time--

[He's babbling, kissing her between sentences, desperate to be as close to her as he can.]
allucinator: (reflective: trapped)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 06:44 am (UTC)(link)
[He shakes his head, but only slightly; he doesn't want to risk dislodging her.]

Don't matter. Don't matter, because I ain't leavin' you again, love. I won't. I won't, I promise, I won't.

[He kisses her hard again.]

I--

[But this isn't the right time and this isn't the right place and he doesn't even have a ring.]

You-- you should come with us. Live in the firehouse with us. Stay with us.
allucinator: (defeat: emo hat)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 07:04 am (UTC)(link)
Course it would. Don't be stupid, course it would.

[A beat. He glances back at Sirius, still sleeping on the far side of his bed.]

I'll ask him tomorrow. If-- if you want. You don't gotta.
allucinator: (talking: distracted part II)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
They won't be. Either way. He likes you, he likes you just as much as I do.

[He leans in, kissing her again, their fingers intertwining.]
allucinator: (happy: pleased)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 07:22 am (UTC)(link)
[He nods.]

Here, c'mere. Come up here.

[He scoots back, making room for her on the bed, wishing he wasn't wearing something so idiotic as a hospital gown.]
allucinator: (crack: thrusting)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 07:32 am (UTC)(link)
Only the best for you, love.

[He shivers and snuggles a bit closer to her, throwing a blanket over them both.]

I'd offer you food, but it's crap, it really is.
allucinator: (defeat: blank)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 07:38 am (UTC)(link)
[He wrinkles his nose.]

Nah, I'm--

[He lifts his arm, showing off an IV.]

I'm set.
allucinator: (anger: confrontation)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 07:56 am (UTC)(link)
Nah. Just puts vitamins and all that in me without me havin' to eat it.
allucinator: (anger: confrontation)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 08:04 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, it, uh, modern medicine is funny like that. Better than eatin', though.
allucinator: (HA HA HA I hate you)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 08:27 am (UTC)(link)
[He nods.]

You, uh . . . you'd probably understand better.

[He glances over at Sirius for a moment.]

What people do to other people. You understand that more than he does.
allucinator: (sad: down)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 08:35 am (UTC)(link)
I know.

[He swallows and leans against her.]

God. I, uh, I don't . . . I don't say it enough, you know, but, uh, thank God I got you both this time around.
allucinator: (reflective: trapped)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 09:21 am (UTC)(link)
I know. I love you too. Both o' you.

[A pause. He stays against her, his eyes closed.]

There was another man there. Doe, his name was-- or maybe it wasn't, maybe nobody remembered his name and that's just what Roman called him.

[A pause. He tightens his grip on her.]

I . . . and he was so mad, love, he was so far gone. I don't know how he's gonna come back. And I thought . . . that's . . . that's what I'll be in a few months, I'll just disappear in me own head and that'll be that. And it weren't fair, cuz . . . cuz for the first time, I really . . . everythin' was goin' right, you know? I had a great friend and a house and a steady job and I had-- I had a, a girl I wanted to spend the rest o' me life with.
allucinator: (just so arrogant)

[personal profile] allucinator 2011-12-17 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I've been mad too much. I don't want to go back to that. Not again.

[His breathing is ragged, too quick and too harsh.]

I went in my head-- I tried to, but he just-- he dragged me back out again, I couldn't ignore it, I never did that much pain in one go before and I wanted-- I wanted it to end any way it could, I begged him to kill me just to stop it. I thought I'd be there forever, I thought I'd never leave.

DAMN YOU, LJ.

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