Alice Liddell (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cruelwonder) wrote2011-07-03 09:11 pm
cruelwonder) wrote2011-07-03 09:11 pm
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IC Contact
[ It's a book, silly. Leave a message. ]
[ It's a book, silly. Leave a message. ]
[She smiles sadly, one hand going up to touch his cheek and then move to go through his hair, dirty but she doesn't even care at this point.]
You... It's not your fault! It's that damn horrible man and I swear--
[She kisses him again before she finishes, not sure how she even wants to end that sentence. Push him in front of a train, dump him in a well, do everything he's done to Jack and more, corrupt his mind from the inside out for even touching him...
A few tears slip out and she brushes them hastily away.]
I thought I was dead without you. Without you here. And Sirius...
[And Sirius was a dead man walking without Jack. But that doesn't need to be said.]
You... It's not your fault! It's that damn horrible man and I swear--
[She kisses him again before she finishes, not sure how she even wants to end that sentence. Push him in front of a train, dump him in a well, do everything he's done to Jack and more, corrupt his mind from the inside out for even touching him...
A few tears slip out and she brushes them hastily away.]
I thought I was dead without you. Without you here. And Sirius...
[And Sirius was a dead man walking without Jack. But that doesn't need to be said.]
[He shakes his head, but only slightly; he doesn't want to risk dislodging her.]
Don't matter. Don't matter, because I ain't leavin' you again, love. I won't. I won't, I promise, I won't.
[He kisses her hard again.]
I--
[But this isn't the right time and this isn't the right place and he doesn't even have a ring.]
You-- you should come with us. Live in the firehouse with us. Stay with us.
Don't matter. Don't matter, because I ain't leavin' you again, love. I won't. I won't, I promise, I won't.
[He kisses her hard again.]
I--
[But this isn't the right time and this isn't the right place and he doesn't even have a ring.]
You-- you should come with us. Live in the firehouse with us. Stay with us.
[She kisses back with not as much force but just as much urgency, as though each kiss is just another reminder that he's here, real, and alive.
She sighs, looking at him. She worries at her lower lip for a moment.]
That... That'll be all right?
She sighs, looking at him. She worries at her lower lip for a moment.]
That... That'll be all right?
Course it would. Don't be stupid, course it would.
[A beat. He glances back at Sirius, still sleeping on the far side of his bed.]
I'll ask him tomorrow. If-- if you want. You don't gotta.
[A beat. He glances back at Sirius, still sleeping on the far side of his bed.]
I'll ask him tomorrow. If-- if you want. You don't gotta.
[For a long time, she just stares at Sirius and then him. Her hands wind tightly with his. There's no question.]
If he's okay with it. I... I don't want to be away from you. But I don't want things to be odd.
If he's okay with it. I... I don't want to be away from you. But I don't want things to be odd.
They won't be. Either way. He likes you, he likes you just as much as I do.
[He leans in, kissing her again, their fingers intertwining.]
[He leans in, kissing her again, their fingers intertwining.]
[She smiles and kisses him again, nodding.]
Okay. Okay, I... Yes, I want to. But even if I didn't, even if you didn't want me to, I'm... I want to stay with you at least for now. With both of you.
Okay. Okay, I... Yes, I want to. But even if I didn't, even if you didn't want me to, I'm... I want to stay with you at least for now. With both of you.
[He nods.]
Here, c'mere. Come up here.
[He scoots back, making room for her on the bed, wishing he wasn't wearing something so idiotic as a hospital gown.]
Here, c'mere. Come up here.
[He scoots back, making room for her on the bed, wishing he wasn't wearing something so idiotic as a hospital gown.]
[She waits until he's moved before she climbs up better beside him, putting her arms around him again. She can feel how thin he is, and how cold, but she's just glad to have him in her hold again.
She kisses his cheek.]
Very accommodating, Jack Kelly.
She kisses his cheek.]
Very accommodating, Jack Kelly.
Only the best for you, love.
[He shivers and snuggles a bit closer to her, throwing a blanket over them both.]
I'd offer you food, but it's crap, it really is.
[He shivers and snuggles a bit closer to her, throwing a blanket over them both.]
I'd offer you food, but it's crap, it really is.
[She smiles, letting him get comfortable. Between her and Sirius, maybe they can keep him warm.]
I'm not hungry. It's all right. We'll get you something later.
I'm not hungry. It's all right. We'll get you something later.
[He wrinkles his nose.]
Nah, I'm--
[He lifts his arm, showing off an IV.]
I'm set.
Nah, I'm--
[He lifts his arm, showing off an IV.]
I'm set.
[She frowns at it. She's not very aware of all the advances in medicine, but she puts her hand in his.]
Does it hurt?
Does it hurt?
Nah. Just puts vitamins and all that in me without me havin' to eat it.
Yeah, it, uh, modern medicine is funny like that. Better than eatin', though.
[She frowns and squeezes his hand. She's not sure if she should ask, if he's ready to tell her, but she understands. She used to refuse to eat in the asylum.]
Jack... Whatever happened in there... I'm here - we both are - whether you're ready to say or not.
[She looks at him.]
Even if you never say. It's your decision. But we're here and we're not going anywhere.
Jack... Whatever happened in there... I'm here - we both are - whether you're ready to say or not.
[She looks at him.]
Even if you never say. It's your decision. But we're here and we're not going anywhere.
[He nods.]
You, uh . . . you'd probably understand better.
[He glances over at Sirius for a moment.]
What people do to other people. You understand that more than he does.
You, uh . . . you'd probably understand better.
[He glances over at Sirius for a moment.]
What people do to other people. You understand that more than he does.
[She follows his gaze to Sirius.]
But he'll want to be there anyway. He cares for you. He'd never let you hurt.
[She threads their fingers together.]
But he'll want to be there anyway. He cares for you. He'd never let you hurt.
[She threads their fingers together.]
I know.
[He swallows and leans against her.]
God. I, uh, I don't . . . I don't say it enough, you know, but, uh, thank God I got you both this time around.
[He swallows and leans against her.]
God. I, uh, I don't . . . I don't say it enough, you know, but, uh, thank God I got you both this time around.
[She keeps him close and kisses his head, resting her forehead against him.]
You don't need to.
[It should be just as obvious that they're attached to him.]
I love you. We both do.
You don't need to.
[It should be just as obvious that they're attached to him.]
I love you. We both do.
I know. I love you too. Both o' you.
[A pause. He stays against her, his eyes closed.]
There was another man there. Doe, his name was-- or maybe it wasn't, maybe nobody remembered his name and that's just what Roman called him.
[A pause. He tightens his grip on her.]
I . . . and he was so mad, love, he was so far gone. I don't know how he's gonna come back. And I thought . . . that's . . . that's what I'll be in a few months, I'll just disappear in me own head and that'll be that. And it weren't fair, cuz . . . cuz for the first time, I really . . . everythin' was goin' right, you know? I had a great friend and a house and a steady job and I had-- I had a, a girl I wanted to spend the rest o' me life with.
[A pause. He stays against her, his eyes closed.]
There was another man there. Doe, his name was-- or maybe it wasn't, maybe nobody remembered his name and that's just what Roman called him.
[A pause. He tightens his grip on her.]
I . . . and he was so mad, love, he was so far gone. I don't know how he's gonna come back. And I thought . . . that's . . . that's what I'll be in a few months, I'll just disappear in me own head and that'll be that. And it weren't fair, cuz . . . cuz for the first time, I really . . . everythin' was goin' right, you know? I had a great friend and a house and a steady job and I had-- I had a, a girl I wanted to spend the rest o' me life with.
[She lets him stay close, squeezing him in turn and closing her eyes. She kisses his head and tries not to think about Jack so far gone, catatonic and rambling and mad. She tries not to think about what that horrid man did to him.
She tries. But there are whispers and ideas and she hates those enough.]
You will never go back to something like that. I won't have it. I won't. I refuse...
[To lose him like that might almost be worse than losing him because he was killed or Ported out. She holds him tight.]
I don't want anything to happen to you. Not ever.
She tries. But there are whispers and ideas and she hates those enough.]
You will never go back to something like that. I won't have it. I won't. I refuse...
[To lose him like that might almost be worse than losing him because he was killed or Ported out. She holds him tight.]
I don't want anything to happen to you. Not ever.
I've been mad too much. I don't want to go back to that. Not again.
[His breathing is ragged, too quick and too harsh.]
I went in my head-- I tried to, but he just-- he dragged me back out again, I couldn't ignore it, I never did that much pain in one go before and I wanted-- I wanted it to end any way it could, I begged him to kill me just to stop it. I thought I'd be there forever, I thought I'd never leave.
[His breathing is ragged, too quick and too harsh.]
I went in my head-- I tried to, but he just-- he dragged me back out again, I couldn't ignore it, I never did that much pain in one go before and I wanted-- I wanted it to end any way it could, I begged him to kill me just to stop it. I thought I'd be there forever, I thought I'd never leave.
[She squeezes him gently, holding him close. To go away, to die, to let the world disappear... It's something she knows well. But she says nothing to that effect, just kissing his cheek again and keeping her arms around him.]
He'll never touch you again.
[And she never wants to see him this far gone in her lifetime.]
I'm so sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry.
He'll never touch you again.
[And she never wants to see him this far gone in her lifetime.]
I'm so sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry.
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