Then your head is likely to explode, Alice darling, because programs are nothing like films.

[He scrambles to the DVD player and shoves in the film--then scrambles back to the sofa once more as it begins, clamoring up to sit on Jack's other side.]

No pirating, it says no pirating, Jack, you'll be caught. You as well, miss, although you'd likely be let off as you'd be a lady-pirate. And oooo, here are the opening credits--dusky dust, dusty sunset, a lone rider on a pale horse riding along a gulch.... with his faithful dog.